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[21 Nov 2005|05:59pm] |
im such a pushover lately.
this is so not me.
im sick again. when i get sick its usually from stess or something related to that. then i kinda shut down.
i know all of my stupid tendencies yet i do nothing to change them.
what the hell is that about?
i hate being around people but i love the feeling of not being alone.
that so didnt make sense did it?
i want to not care anymore but no matter how hard i try.
i just do.
im going to work now.
to keep the neverending cycle they call life going.
late.
<3
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[29 Oct 2005|06:56pm] |
why do i let him get to me?
i dont understand it, not even a little.
i almost cried today because i was just so frustrated.
wtf? cry over him? i dont fucking think so.
just punch me in the face.
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[27 Sep 2005|08:00pm] |
reading owns: did he want yo bod-ie bebe?
VanityKills 818: i know!
VanityKills 818: pretty much. i got the whole...i miss you, i was gonna call and surprise you so we could hang out.
VanityKills 818: and im thinking...hmm just just break up with someone?
reading owns: hey elisha
reading owns: i REALLY wanted to call you cause i miss you
reading owns: but i decided to TELL you over aim and ruin the surpise
reading owns: so you couldn't laugh in my face
reading owns: cause i called you cause i'm lame
VanityKills 818: hahaha
VanityKills 818: i fucking love you
this is why this girl is my best friend in the world.
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[24 Sep 2005|09:20pm] |
my life now consists of getting drunk. i dont even know what to think of that. i go to school. i work. i go out and get drunk or watch others get drunk. yea thats it. i wish i could say that my life rules at the moment but i can just never say that. i want my cd and shirt back from justin and i want to give him his watch. so he doesnt have a reason to call me then say he misses me. i know that sounds bad but i just dont want him falling for me even more then getting hurt. im not sure what to think about that situation anymore. i need a new guy to focus on. one that isnt emo as fuck. yea, thats what i need.
ANYWAY..what should i be for halloween?
Marilyn Monroe
Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz
glam 80's girl
or a 20's flapper?
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[21 Sep 2005|09:22pm] |
WHY ARE BOYS SUCH GIRLS?
yea i said it, and it actually makes sense doesnt it?
VanityKills 818: alright you. what happened?
AweMattAwe: what?!?!
VanityKills 818: the whole justin thing.
AweMattAwe: WHAT?!?!?
AweMattAwe: oh screw him
VanityKills 818: well what happened?
AweMattAwe: well he publicly called me a faggot so i told him off
VanityKills 818: you didnt see it as a joke you just got mad?
AweMattAwe: no it wasnt a joke
AweMattAwe: ayla and sarah told kme so..
AweMattAwe: ayal especially said he doesnt ever want to speak to me again!
VanityKills 818: well im pretty sure that isnt true.
AweMattAwe: ayla told me he doesnt want to talk to me again
AweMattAwe: and i believe her
AweMattAwe: so..
VanityKills 818: ok.
AweMattAwe: yeah
AweMattAwe: w/e
VanityKills 818: im just saying you guys are like girls and fight every week. so i dont believe it.
AweMattAwe: it aint my fault
AweMattAwe: he c;laimed i was talkign shit on him to ayla
VanityKills 818: i didnt say it was. im just saying what always happens.
AweMattAwe: yeah i knmow..
VanityKills 818: yea
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[14 Sep 2005|04:14pm] |
i love it when underage "friends" only call me to buy their cigarettes. HAHA.
i love it when people lie to me especially the guy that told my friends he was in love with me. HAHA.
i love it when my dad ditches me. HAHA.
these are the reasons im just the sweetest loving person ever. HAHA.
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[11 Sep 2005|07:50pm] |
man, i was really messed up last night.
it was fun.
im tired.
and a little upset
he lied to me.
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[10 Sep 2005|01:07pm] |
another party tonight.
i should really stop this madness.
hahaha yea right.
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[08 Sep 2005|10:37pm] |
i have no idea whats going on anymore.
justin and i are like fighting? or something. were not really fighting but we argue over aim and he keeps telling me that like im amazing and shit. but he doesnt even know me really. i love him to death. hes fun to be with and everything i just dont like him like that. i cant help it that i dont, and i even feel bad that i dont because hes such a nice guy.
GAHHHH
i hate this.
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[02 Sep 2005|12:12pm] |
what the hell is up with these boys trying to say they are in love with me.
seriously you dont even fucking know me.
shut the fuck up.
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| IM SOOO BORED |
[28 Aug 2005|11:19pm] |
current:
• clothes: black shorts, tank top
• hairstyle: short in the back aline in front
• jewelry: my 2 rings, and necklace
• underwear color: pink and black
• nail color: nothing
do you:
• lick yourself: no...
• whine a lot: haha yea
• yell a lot: yes
• hate a lot of people: i dont HATE anyone. strongly dislike...yes.
• have too many friends: i have too many "friends"
• want to die: sometimes
• have a bf/gf: nope
• do drugs: no
• wear dark colors: yea
• dye your hair: yes but it isnt dyed at the moment
have you ever:
• kissed someone: yes
• gotten drunk: yes
• worn a rainbow: no
• talked on the phone for over 3 hours: yes
• left the country: no
• had a party with over 30 people: been to one yes. but not actually had one.
• taken nude pictures: eww no
• stolen something: yes
• caught something on fire: yes
• wanted to cheat on someone: no
• asked someone out: not exactly
• had a dream, then the next day it happens: yes. hella weird.
last person:
• you touched: jeanette
• you talked to: my mom
• you hugged: justin
• you kissed: matt
• you instant messaged: matt
• who broke your heart: my heart cant break anymore.
are you:
• understanding: yes
• open-minded: yes
• insecure: usually.
• interesting: not really
• hungry: no
• smart: i can be
• childish: sometimes
• independent: yes
• hard working: sometimes
• healthy: ha probly not
• emotional: yea
• shy: yes
• difficult: yes
• attractive: no
• bored easily: yes
• obsessed: maybe
• angry: sometimes
• sad: sometimes
• happy: sometimes
• trusting: nope
• ill: no
• talkative: sometimes
• ignored: yes
• reliable: yes
• self-disciplined: yes
• lonely: yes
info about yourself:
• what is your birth name?: Elisha
• what is your birthday?: Jan 12th 1987
• age: 18
• how tall are you?: 5'8"
• shoe size?: 10
• brothers/sisters?: 3 sisters
• job?: student, mervyns.
favorites:
• what is your favorite band?: i can not pick one band
• color(s)?: green at the moment
• soda?: orange
• music?: whatever
• stores in the mall?: forever 21 or something gay like that
• ice cream?: mint chocolate chip
• roller coaster?: all of them
• candy?: skittlles?
• cd?: cant pick one
• cookies?: i dunno
• juice?: lemonade
• holiday?: my birthday. its a holiday to me.
• month?: january
in the last 48 hours:
• cried?: no
• missed someone?: yes
• yelled at someone?: yes
• changed your underwear?: yes
• drove somewhere?: yes
• talked to someone on the phone?: yes
• been online?: duh. how else would i be doing this?
• smiled?: yes
• kissed someone?: no
• hugged someone?: yes
• last thing you ate?: chips
• talked to an ugly person?: i do every day at work.
have you ever:
• been in love: no
• been in trouble with the police?: no
• hit someone?: nope
• broken something?: yes
• betrayed a friend?: probably
• played strip poker?: no
• skipped school?: yes
• shot a gun?: a water gun...haha
• broke something important?: yes
• smoked weed?: no
• dyed your hair?: yes
okay, last questions
• what is sitting next to you?: my cd rack
• favorite sport?: i dunno
• are you gay/lesbian/bi/straight?: straight
• been in a plane?: yes
• killed someone?: no
• slept during class?: yes
• are you bored of taking this survey?: kinda mostly tired though
• what time is it now?: 11:29
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[28 Aug 2005|11:59am] |
im beginning to say fuck livejournal. only because a lot of people i know (and dont really trust) are on there and i cant exactly say that i would like to say.
i worked from 2-11 yesterday. that was a long day.
matt calls me during my lunch break wanting to hang out. i told him i was working and would be too tired after work. well after work i end up going to a little party. eric and scott were back in town for the weekend so everyone was drinking at cels house. we were just hanging out, being loud, whatever and matt calls me. i answer and say i'll call you right back. cause we were kinda busy talking right then. i call him back and he was like where are you? what are you doing? are you at a party? OMG OK DAD. he tries to give me a guilt trip cause i said i wasnt going to do anything. then he askes "are there hella guys there? i hear a lot of guys" i guess im only allowed to hang out with girls now. so i pull the WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU. and go on with my night. cel was sooo fucked up. lj and i werent drinking cause we had to go home and we both realized we need to be fucked up when hanging out with all of them when they are drunk. cause they are fucking annoying. but it was fun just laughing at them. we went and got food and we were listing to tlc and usher. yea i said it. and it was fun. ive missed them.
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[26 Aug 2005|04:40pm] |
so basically when matt and i broke up like 2 days later he was crazy "in love" with this girl. he never met her. they met on myspace. but oh yea, they were totally in love.
he posted a "poem" and it was pretty much about him loving someone that did really love him back. blah blah "i thought you were my soulmate"
I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF.
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| yet another night |
[21 Aug 2005|02:43pm] |
i was drunk as fuck last night.
we had a little kick back at jeanettes last night. i got there after work and everyone was already fucked up. it didnt take me long to catch up though. i had three shots. then went back and took 2 more like 5 minutes later.it was jeanette, lauren, matt and me. he kept calling everyone to tell them he was partying with three gorgeous girls all of which he has made out with. i go outside and matt is smoking a cigarette. WTF. he was freaking out when he saw me smoking a cigarette then he goes and smokes. he was trying to tell me that i promised him i wouldnt smoke when we were together. thats total bullshit since i told him i smoked before and i stopped completely for him. yea he got quiet. bitch. so much shit came out last night. im so fucking real when im drunk, i dont care who you are i will tell you exactly whats on my mind. i love being drunk..haha. he kept trying to kiss me again and kept asking why we broke up. then hes on the phone with this girl that he swears he would kill for and do all this other shit for while hes trying to rub my leg. i dont fucking think so. then later on saying promise you'll sleep with me, i cant sleep alone. WHEN DID HE TURN INTO A WOMAN??!?! he was bugging the shit out of me so i let him have it. he was hiding under the blanket from me and threatened to leave so many times. i wouldnt let him get a word in at all he would try to talk and all i would say is "fuck you, shut up. im talking" lj came over after work for a while and he was mad about something so he said fuck you to each one of us. WHOA! you do NOT say fuck you to my girl. HELL NO. so i went off again. "dont you dare say that to her, i dont give a shit what you say to me but you dont know her so dont fukcing talk to her like that" if you deserve it i am the biggest bitch when im drunk. so watch out.
this morning he says "i still remember all the mean things you said to me" HAHAHAHA GOOD.
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[11 Jul 2005|02:30pm] |
i changed my layout.
feel free to look at it
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| these are the lives you love to lead |
[10 Jul 2005|11:05am] |
i am so tired. its only because ive worked the past two days but its been ALL day. you can only fold clothes for so long until you get frustrated when people go behind you and mess it up. my Team Leader is Tom and he knows my name already and always has me go do stuff. im not sure if thats good or not but i guess time will tell. they moved everything in the store so i feel like ive just started again. everyone always looks to me for the fashion part. Does this look good together? will this match? what top would look good with these pants? thats all i hear, that and the other people saying..."go ask elisha, the one with the glasses." i helped a girl find a pair of pants that i was going to come back and buy. she bought them. i was sad.
im done boring you.
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[29 Jun 2005|11:45am] |
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it kills me. simply kills me.
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[22 Jun 2005|09:54pm] |
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i'll be damned if im going to let you break me
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[17 Jun 2005|07:24am] |
i thought i saw the gorgeous boy this morning.
i was happy for like 10 seconds.
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[23 Apr 2005|11:12pm] |
play last night
show tonight
probly nothing tomorrow.
<3
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